Is it normal for the baby or toddler in my case to be there in court for the adoption hearing?
The adoption cases in my state allow children. The judge likes to see the new family together and if it is an older child he/she will talk to the child. We also were able to take some pretty cool pictures at the end, even one with the judge and my son together.
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In our case, the finalization was very informal and private, with the judge sitting at a table with us rather than at the bench, and our son running around the courtroom. My mom was with us and kept him entertained and supervised as we signed papers etc. Our attorney had informed us it would be this way…very friendly and chatty. We also took pictures with the judge.
As your attorney or SW for your courts normal procedures, or even the court clerk.
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It depends on the state you are in. I live in California and here it is REQUIRED that you TAKE the children with you. The judge wants to see the child, see your interaction with them, make sure the child is ok, and to see that the child is happy. When you make your appointment for your hearing just ask them what is preferred by the judge.
VVery few adoptions are carried out in Australia now - as family preservation is very strong in OZ - thank goodness.
Less than 500 adoptions are finalised per year.
(and most of them are from overseas)
And yes - it is a long and hard process - and costly.
If you really wish to adopt - you have to go through your state government department - as all adoptions are government controlled.
(google your state and adoption - and links should come up)
What is really needed in Australia - are more foster carers.
There are so many children in need of care - and many have their parental rights terminated - so adoption is a possibility.
These are the children that need loving families the most.
Please do remember that adoption is meant to be about finding a home for a child that really needs it - not about filling your needs.
Unless you can conceive a daughter - you will need to grieve the daughter you were unable to have - as no adoptee needs the pressure of trying to fulfill an adoptive parent’s dream.
That’s too much to ask of any child.
Do look into reading - as suggested by Phil - as the better educated you are on life for an adoptee - the better life the adoptee will ultimately have.
There are many losses an adoptee has - to get to an adoption - please be aware of those.
Here are links to many adult adoptees who are now blogging on the internet -
http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index…
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Before adopting, be sure to educate yourself on the experience of adoptees. Read their blogs.
Here are some books that I would recommend:
* “Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self” by Brodzinsky, Schecter, and Henig
* “Journey of the Adopted Self” by Betty Jean Lifton
* “The Primal Wound” by Nancy Verrier